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"The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend."
-Henry David Thoreau
"Today we may say aloud before an awe-struck world: We are still masters of our fate. We are still captain of our souls."
- Prime Minister Winston Churchill
"I like a man who grins when he fights."- Prime Minister Winston Churchill
"Rangers, Lead The Way!" - Colonel Francis W. Dawson (D-Day Invasion, 1944)
"Going back to one's birth country after living so long overseas, well it's a bit like having bi-polar disorder. No matter
where you are, you always end up having to repress some part of you in order to 'fit' in or at the very least, not stand out
too terribly." Bethany Kesler
"All writers and most others possessed by the arts are evil, sadistic, paranoid, neurotic, schizophrenic, masochists. And
I defy anyone who tries to say differently." - Bethany Kesler
"The trust I have is in mine innocence, and therefore am I bold and resolute."- William Shakespeare
"Lord, what fools these mortals be!" - William Shakespeare, "A Midsummer Night's Dream", Act 2 scene 2
"To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;" - William Shakepeare, "Hamlet", Act 3 scene 1
"My words fly up, my thoughts remain below:
Words without thoughts never to heaven go." - William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 3 scene 3
"Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep." - William Shakespeare, "The Tempest", Act 4 scene 1
"I thought the purpose of filing these reports was to provide accurate intelligence."
"Vir, intelligence has nothing to do with politics."
Vir and Londo, Point of No Return
Michael Garibaldi: No boom?
Jeffrey Sinclair: No boom.
Susan Ivanova: No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow.
[Sinclair and Garibaldi exchange an exasperated look and wander off.]
Susan Ivanova: What?! Look, somebody's got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom. Sooner or later. BOOM! - Grail
Susan Ivanova: Ambassador. Do you really want to know what's going on down there right now?
Londo Mollari: Yes, absolutely.
Susan Ivanova: Boom. Boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom. BOOM! Have a nice day. - Voice In The Wilderness part 2
[Sinclair comes upon Talia waiting for a tube car.]
Talia Winters: It seems like every time I get into the tube, Mr. Garibaldi's there! It's like he knows!
Jeffrey Sinclair: Talia, Mr. Garibaldi is many things, but he's not omniscient.
[The tube opens, revealing a grinning Garibaldi, then closes again.]
Talia Winters: I think I'll take the stairs.
Jeffrey Sinclair: I think I'll join you. - Voice In The Wilderness part 1
Delenn: This is Ambassador Delenn of the Minbari. Babylon 5 is under our protection. Withdraw; or be destroyed!
Captain: Negative. We have authority here. Do not force us to engage your ship.
Delenn: Why not? Only one human captain has ever survived battle with a Minbari fleet. He is behind me. You are in
front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else. - Shattered Dreams
[Entertaining Vir and his new wife, Londo is also struggling with a pest infestation.]
Londo Mollari: I swear they are evolving right before my eyes.
[He turns to Vir and Lyndisty.]
Londo Mollari: If you see something, this big, with eight legs coming your way, let me know. I have to kill it before it develops
language skills. - Sic Transit Vir
Lennier: I'm trying to keep a promise. By breaking a promise. I was told not to mention this to anyone in the chain of command.
You were not mentioned by name but that is implicit. However, by telling you, the captain need not find out about it and I
will not have broken the promise.
Marcus Cole: I'm in awe, Lennier. The way you can take a simple proposition and turn it inside out so that it says what you
want it to say rather than what it actually says. Does this come naturally or did you attend some sort of, Martial Arts class
for the philosophically inclined? - Gray 17 is Missing
"There are three of them with guns against two of us with nothing. They'll gun us down before we get half across the room."
"All we need is one of them to leave the room. Then there will be only one man with the gun."
"Excuse me, where I come from, one man from three leaves two."
"Where I come from is a far more interesting place."
-- Franklin and Marcus in Babylon 5:"Exogenesis"
"When I said my quarters were cold, I did not mean: 'Oh, I think it's a little chilly in here, perhaps I'll throw a blanket
on the bed.' No, I said it was cold! As in: 'Oh, look, my left arm has snapped off like an icicle and shattered on the floor.'
This is highly inappropriate, Captain."
"You are right. There are several other parts of your body I much rather see snapped off."
-- Londo and Sheridan in Babylon 5:"The Illusion of Truth"
[An ISN reporter complains to Sheridan about Ivanova's rough treatment.]
John Sheridan: Commander! Did you threaten to grab this man by the collar and threaten to throw him out an airlock?
Susan Ivanova: [chagrined] Yes, I did.
John Sheridan: I'm shocked! Shocked and dismayed.
[The reporter nods, mollified.]
John Sheridan: May I remind you that we are short on supplies here. We can't afford to take perfectly good clothing and throw
it out into space! Always take the jacket off first; I've told you that before!
[Ivanova nods meekly.]
John Sheridan: Sorry. She meant to say, "stripped naked and thrown out of an airlock". I apologize for any confusion this
may have caused.
"I've got it. I've got it. I've got it. It's right here. It's right here."
"Do not thump the book of G'Quan. It is disrespectful."
-- Garibaldi and G'Kar in Babylon 5:"Ship of Tears"
"Ivanova sent me to find you. She said you haven't been sleeping, that you've barely been eating. She said that you have been,
in her words, carrying on 'cranky'. I looked up the word cranky, it said 'grouchy'. I looked up grouchy, it said 'crotchety'.
No wonder you have such an eccentric culture. None of your words have their own meanings, you have to look up one word to
understand another. It never ends."
"Something here doesn't make sense."
"That's what I thought when I came across 'crotchety'. This can not be a real word, I said."
"The Shadows keep attacking random targets, very illogical. On the other hand, once engaged, their tactics are very successful,
very logical. It's a contradiction."
"Unless the random attacks are logical in some way we haven't yet determined."
"Exactly."
"So, you have been sitting here trying to think illogically about logical possibilities or logically about illogical possibilities."
"Huh? Yes, yes."
"No wonder you are cranky. Grouchy. .. Never mind. Your face just broke the language barrier."
"I'm tired, I haven't had a good nights sleep since Kosh died. Having the kind of nightmares that make your hair stand on
end."
"Well, that would explain the Centauri. You need food and rest. The humans, who you've been waiting for have arrived and would
like to have dinner with us."
"No, no, I don't have time. If they want to come here.."
"So, I told them 'yes'."
"Delenn!"
"Since Minbari do not lie, except to save another, my reputation is now at stake. If you say 'no', I will be publically dishonored."
"You don't fight fair."
"True. Dinner is in two standard hours. I will see you there."
"Pain in the butt."
"Grouch."
-- Delenn and Sheridan in Babylon 5:"And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place"
"Speaking of which, as of now I'm relieving you of command."
"Ivanova, your sense of humor has always been on the edge of good taste, but--"
"I'm serious, John."
"On what grounds?"
"You haven't taken any personal time in over nine months. And in that time we have broken away from Earth, fought a war, you
have been declared dead at least once, and you know how tiring that can be."
-- Ivanova and Sheridan in Babylon 5:"Racing Mars"
"I'm no Jedi. I'm just a guy with a lightsaber and a few questions." Kyle Katarn - Jedi Knight II Jedi Outcast
"Your generic TIE grunt is just plain suicidal. And the TIE Defender jockey is bloodthirsty. But the TIE Interceptor pilot,
he's suicidal and bloodthirsty. When you see a squad of those maniacs flying your way, you'd better hope your hyperdrive is
operational." Kyle Katarn
"They always lock the door. You'd think they'd have learned by now. Doesn't look like there's a key, that would be too easy.
The console to unlock the door is probably hidden in some room twelve floors up or something, how does that make sense?" -
Kyle Katarn Jedi Knight:Jedi Academy
Luke Skywalker: "That wasn't precisely Kyp who did that. He was possessed by the spirit of a long-dead Sith Lord named Exar
Kun."
Cal Omas: "That's exactly the sort of thing I hope *never* to have to explain to a Senatorial committee."
"Absolutely not. You're not going to the dark side on my watch. Do it on Luke's." Corran Horn
Corran Horn: "Do any of you speak Basic?"
Kotaa Zun-qin: "I speak your infidel tongue. It tastes like the waste excretions of an ill vhlor on my tongue, but I can speak
it. Please, ask me something so I may deny it to you."
Corran Horn: "We infidels don't normally sample the waste excretions of ill animals, so I don't fully understand the reference.
I suppose that such delicacies are reserved for the Chosen."
"You know impossible is what Rogue Squadron does best of all." Corran Horn
Wedge Antilles: "Never mind what I just said. Let's just shoot Wes."
Tycho Celchu: "What's our strategy?"
Derek Klivian: "I thought we'd just all draw and fire. But I could count down to zero and then we could draw and fire."
Wedge Antilles: "We have the right tools to subvert our Imperial admiral."
Hobbie: "What tools?"
Wedge Antilles: "Oh, Wes's maturity, your optimism, and my diplomatic skills."
Hobbie: "We're doomed."
"I am so glad I found you and didn't kill you." Leia Organa Solo
"Rogue Squadron to Borleias: We're back. We kicked your butt twenty years ago, now we're here to do it again." Col. Gavin
Darklighter
"Bugs? Why did it have to be bugs?" Han Solo
"You don't have a plan?! You don't have a plan. No one ever has a plan. Why does no one ever have a plan?" Han Solo
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Love. You can know all the math in the 'Verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake
you off just as sure as the turning of worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells ya she's hurtin'
'fore she keens. Makes her home.
Quotes From Summer Missions In Baltimore
Quotes:
“I don’t understand your lingo” – Lauren
“Horseback riding for Jesus” – Elinor and Candice
“Duh. Big Red Truck.” - Everyone
“You’re summer missionaries. You’re supposed to serve us. Get in the water!” – Alex from Streetlite
“I wasn’t allowed to die; you’re not allowed to get arrested.” –Mike
“Lines for Jesus” –Lauren
“MK’s are like PK’s on crack.” - Bethany
“Dude, I’m an MK. We ARE our own people group.” – Bethany
“I think it’s hysterical that we have to go from Annapolis to Columbia to BWI to Ocean City just to get to Baltimore.
It’s the scenic route.” Christine and Bethany
“I saved hundreds of dollars on car insurance through…cupcakes!”- Christine
“It’s an audience participation song!” - Thom in reference to Jesus Take the Wheel
“I need bodies. Preferably live, able ones.” – Bethany
“I swear to drunk I’m not God.” – Elinor after one really really really long night.
“I’m going to go pass out under my desk.” – Bethany (who actually did and surprised everyone because
they didn’t think she was serious)
“I’m the Evil Overlord for Jesus!” - Bethany
“Prayerwalking: Exercising for Jesus.”
Prayer stalking
“It’s not napping. It’s Being Still and Knowing that God is With us.”
“Careful, he’s armed and dangerous. He’s packing the BUBBLE GUN!” - true story about a guy in the
GhettoMart parking lot.
“How many summer missionaries does it take to open a gallon jar of pickles?
Four.”
“ I feel naked without my notebook.” - Elinor
“ We need an inflatable palm tree…stat.” – Bethany
“ I have no problem going back to prison.
Hey, we could start up a ministry there!” - Elinor and Bethany
“I’ve never assaulted a midget! Mimes, yes, midgets no.” – Bethany
“Improvise, Adapt, Overcome – Multitasking For Jesus”
I’m an ex-convict for Jesus! – Anna
“we’re not crazy. We’re summer missionaries!” – Christine
“Revenge of the monkey” - Christine...
More Random Quotes:
"Canada is never the answer." - Erin (while watching Jeopardy)
Erin: So, what classes are you taking this semester?
Andy: Thermodynamics for retards, Weapons systems for retards, Systems lab for those whom it surprises me that they possess
the mental faculties to breathe, Astrophysics, Observational astrophysics, Physics of music and sound, and Physics research
project.
"Out of the way old woman!" - Debbie (during spoons)
"If T.S. Elliot was a woman, my age, and alive, I would totally marry her." Nate
Bethany: Hey now don't be hatin' on the Thursday crowd - we rock fo' shizzle. . . Please tell me that is the correct etymological
use for the phrase " Fo' Shizzle."
Erin: You annoy me because you said that valve trombones are better than slide trombones.
Brendon: What about Voltron!?
"My God! That man's kilt is open!" - Random guy at Faire
"Never, ever should my life be made into a soap opera." - Erin ( though Bethany sort of agrees)
"I didn't know Hannibal Lector did yoga." - Bethany
"Welcome to 5 minutes ago. Please board your non-stop flight to now." - Brendon
"Yes, nuke the little kids who try to sell you their goodies." - Brendon
"My book is bigger. And it has pictures!" - Brendon
"I had to fight a tree today." - Erin
Erin: I'm not quite shameless yet.
Doug & Beth (in sync): We're working on that.
"I don't have any brain in my blood... I mean blood in my brain." - Christine
"I did't feel like wearing pants today." - Erin
"I'm not awake enough to talk to me at the moment." - Erin
Doug: If I ever have children-
Erin: It's Dan's fault.
"Have you been helped? No, we're beyond help." - Kai
Mid: Have you mastered the [Marine] "Yes" language yet?
Frank: No. I tried it the other day with my professor. I said "Hoorah, sir!" and he said "You just told me to shave my mother."
"Doug! This isn't the marble liberation front!" – Erin
"Sleep is the new sex." - Mike
"I've got a sonic screwdriver—and its extendable!" - Bethany
"Denial for the win!" - Kevin
"That wasn't from your childhood. It was from your college days and they were frightening!" – Erin’s Mom (to her
dad)
"Suddenly, I feel almost normal." - Tom
"My ex-wife doesn't thank me, my kids don't thank me, my secretary doesn't thank me, but the trash can thanks me!" - random
guy in the Natural History Museum cafeteria(the trash can speaks!)
"If you don't think that's cool, then you need some coffee!" - Dr. Edwards (Music History)
"Its a sonic screwdriver. It uses sonic waves to screw things." – Erin
"The cloning of humans is on most of the lists of things to worry about from Science, along with behavior control, genetic
engineering, transplanted heads, computer poetry, and the unrestrained growth of plastic flowers." - Lewis Thomas
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." - Mark Twain
"Sometimes it's to your advantage for people to think you're crazy." - Thelonious Monk
"We'll look like fools whether or not we dance, so we might as well dance." - Anonymous
"It is inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This
makes me forever inelligible for any public office." - H.L. Menken
"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to
drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination." - Thomas De Quincey
"It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers." - James Thurber
"It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis." - Margaret Bonnano
"Listen, there is no courage or any extra courage that I know of to find out the right thing to do. Now, it is not only necessary
to do the right thing, but to do it in the right way and the only problem you have is what is the right thing to do and what
is the right way to do it." - Dwight D. Eisenhower
"Those who would give up some of their liberty in order to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
- Dr. Benjamin Franklin
"The two hardest things to handle in life are failure and success." – Anonymous
Hawkeye: [a cowboy and Indian movie is being shown] I'll give you three to one. I'll take the Indians.
B.J.: You're on. Five bucks. What's the name of this picture?
Hawkeye: Custer's Last Stand. (M*A*S*H)
"Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice." - Dr. Sidney Freedman (M*A*S*H)
Kaylee: How come you don't care where you're going?
Book: 'Cause how you get there is the worthier part. (Firefly)
“So who's with me? King Ianto's Coffee Club. Join it for everlasting peace and damn fine coffee. Gwen and Tosh said
they'd sign up. Owen called me a nutter. He'll be the first one to go under King Ianto's Regime.” - Ianto Jones (Torchwood)
In a memo.
The Doctor: Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink.
Mickey: What's that?
The Doctor: No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say 'magic door'.
Mickey: I think I deserve a bit of credit for not saying 'I told you so' yet. Although I do have a little 'I was right' dance
prepared...
Mickey: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
The Doctor: Mickey, what's pre-revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective.
The Doctor: You're Mr Thick Thick Thickety Thickface, from Thicktown, Thickania! And so's your dad!
Ood: The Beast and his armies will rise from the pit to make war against God.
Rose: I'm sorry?
Ood: [whacks communication sphere] Apologies. I said: I hope you enjoy your meal.
Woman: My leg's grown back! When I came to the hospital, I only had one leg!
Dr Constantine: Well, there is a war on. Is it possible you miscounted?
"TALK TO ME OR I AM CANCELLING THE INTERNET!" Dominic Monaghan
Michael: Airbags save a lot of lives, but they also put you out long enough to get your hands cable-tied to the steering wheel.
Fiona: Any thoughts on to why you're so unpopular? Why didn't they just kill ya?
Michael: I might be a lesson, a warning. Maybe somebody wants to offer me a job, but they want me desperate before they make
the offer... It could be a lot of things. I don't know.
Fiona: That sounds like fun.
Michael: I'm glad you think so. I haven't worked so hard for so little money since Afghanistan. Afghanistan... (shudders)
But at least there my mother wasn't calling me thirty times a day! Thank you for giving her my number!
Fiona: You're welcome.
Michael: Most people would be thrilled to be dumped in Miami. Sadly, I am not most people. Spend a few years as a covert operative
and a sunny beach just looks like a vulnerable tactical position with no decent cover. I've never found a good way to hide
a gun in a bathing suit.
Michael: Sleep through an aerial bombing or two and noise isn't an issue. All you need is privacy and a bed. In a pinch you
can lose the bed, but privacy is important.
Michael: With this much money, things get complicated. Change a light bulb in a place like this and a week later you are on
a speed boat on the Cayman Islands with someone shooting at you.
Michael: Need to go some place you're not wanted? Any uniform store will sell you a messenger outfit and any messenger can
get past a security desk.
Michael: Some times the truth hurts, in these situations, I recommend lying.
Michael: Actually, losing a tail isn't about driving fast. A high-speed pursuit is just gonna land you on the 6:00 news. So
you just keep driving like an idiot until the other guy makes a mistake. Again, all of this is easier without a passenger
yelling at you for missing a decade's worth of Thanksgivings.
Michael: I don't like stealing cars, but sometimes it's necessary. I have rules, though. I'll keep it clean, and if I take
your car on a work day, I'll have it back by 5:00.
Michael: Doesn't matter how many years of training you have, a broken rib is a broken rib.
Michael: People with happy families don't become spies.
Michael: If you're going to put prints on a gun, sticking in someone's hand isn't going to do it. Any decent lawyer can explain
prints on a gun. But try explaining prints on the inside of the trigger assembly.
Michael: (to Fiona) Make one of those scenes of yours, you know bite one of them light the other guy on fire.
Michael: Blackmail is kind of like owning a pit bull it might protect you or it might bite your hand off.
Michael: When you're being watched, what you need is contrast, a background that will make the surveillance stand out. An
FBI field office is full of guys in their 40's. At most south beach business hotels, it would be tough to tell which middle-aged
white guy was watching you. So you stay in the place where everyone is a jello shot away from alcohol poisoning. If you see
someone who can walk a straight line, that's the Fed.
Michael: I never run around in the bushes in a ski mask when I'm breaking into a place. Somebody catches you what are you
going to say? You want to look like a legitimate visitor until the very last moment. If you can't look legit confused works
almost as well. Maybe you grab a soda from the fridge or a yogurt. If your caught you just act confused and apologize like
crazy for taking the yoghurt and nothing could be more innocent.
Michael: 30 years of Karate. Combat experience on five continents. A rating with every weapon that shoots a bullet or holds
an edge. Still haven't found any defense to Mom crying into my shirt.
Michael: Figuring out if a car is tailing you is basically about driving like your an idiot. You speed up, slow down, signal
one way turn the other. Of course ideally your doing this without your mother in the car.
Michael: For a job like getting rid of the drug dealer next door, I'll take a hardware store over a gun any day. Guns make
you stupid. Better to fight your wars with duct tape, duct tape makes you smart. Every decent punk has a bullet proof door.
David: Are you a soldier?
Michael: Uh...no. Sort of.
David: My dad says you're here to help us.
Michael: Yeah, I might be. I just need to talk to your dad about some money first.
David: Then are you gonna shoot the people that robbed Mr. Pyne?
Michael: No, no. That shouldn't be necessary.
David: What if they shoot at you?
Michael: Well, in that case, it would be necessary, so yeah
Michael: When a spy gets fired, he doesn't get a call from the lady in H.R. and a gold watch. They cut him off. They make
sure he can never work again. They can't take away his skills or what's in his head, so they take away the resources that
allow him to function. They burn him.
Michael: Southern Nigeria isn't my favorite place in the world. It's unstable, it's corrupt, and the people there eat a lot
of terrible-smelling preserved fish.
Michael: In a fight, you have to be careful not to break the little bones in your hand on someone's face. That's why I like
bathrooms. Lots of hard surfaces.
Michael: Covert intelligence involves a lot of waiting around. Know what it's like being a spy? Like sitting in your dentist's
reception area twenty-four hours a day. You read magazines, you sip coffee, and every so often, someone tries to kill you.
Michael: Sam, don't sprinkle sugar on this bull and call it candy.
Fiona: A spy is just a criminal with a government paycheck.
Michael: What's a water filter salesman doing with a forty-five inside a shoulder holster?
Michael: Eavesdropping and fieldwork go hand-in-hand. You wanna know what your target is saying, what he's typing into his
computer. But technology can't work miracles: bugs don't plant themselves. Fact is, even the fanciest equipment usually needs
help from a good old-fashioned crowbar.
Michael: A good cover identity keeps the target feeling in control: you talk too much, drink too much just to let him know
he's got the edge.
Laura: How did you do it? How did you get it all back?
Michael: You don't wanna know...No really...you don't wanna know.
Michael: Of course, sowing seeds of distrust is harder when nobody trusts you.
Michael: I don't like running from cops, but it has its advantages: it builds your credibility with a criminal when you flee
a crime scene.
Michael: Sometimes you have to decide just how committed you are to be pretending you are who you say you are.
Michael: When you go after a spy, you send another spy. The same goes for con artists. To catch one you got to beat him at
his own game: be a better liar than he is.
Michael: You can't choose your intelligence sources. Might be a heroin smuggler, a dictator... or your mom.
Madeline: I told them that you were the perfect son. That you always wrote me, you called me all the time, and that the most
important thing to you was family. I told them that. And they wrote it down.
Michael: Why did you tell them that?
Madeline: I don't know, Michael. Just seemed nicer than the truth.
Michael: (voiceover) You've been in the business way too long when you recognize the sound of a .45 caliber over a phone.
Sam: Wiring crap into a car is not an art. It's about as subtle as hitting someone with a brick.
Fiona: Hitting someone with a brick takes a lot of skill.
Madeline: I really don't notice what my neighbors do — I'm not interested in them.
Michael: You notice if the neighbor hasn't vacuumed his car. If the postman isn't wearing his wedding ring.
Michael: Best time I've had in Miami.
Michael: Con artists and spies are both professional liars. Cons do it for the money, and spies do it for the flag, but it's
mostly the same gig. They run operations, they follow security procedures, they recruit support staff and issue orders.
Michael: Often, the best way to get intel is to provoke action, set people in motion. Pros know better, but they usually have
to work with a few amateurs, and they panic. So you beat the bushes a little and see what flies out. Once your frightened
amateur leads you to the pros, the work begins.
Michael: Fiona, you were supposed to stop the car not blow it into the Everglades! What happened to shorting the ignition?
Fiona: You said disable, it's not going anywhere.
Michael: A drug cartel is a business. If killing a witness to protect a valued employee from jail time is the best way to
keep making money, they'll do that. If it looks like that employee is testifying to the FBI though, they're just as happy
to leave the witness alone and take care of their problem another way.
Bruce: You have no idea who you're dealing with...
Michael: No, I read the article. Most of it anyway. Scary guys, drugs, guns... Did I miss something?
Michael: I love commuters. Anybody who drives the same route to work everyday, it's like they're doing all the work for you...and
a punctual commuter, a guy who's in the same place every morning at the eight thirty-six am, it's almost too easy.
Michael: If they had any brains at all, they would put the word out there. You show up and someone makes a phone call.
Sophie: You really think they would use kids at my school?! Are you serious?
Michael: Yea. That's what I would do.
Michael: Threaten any serious criminal organization and they're going to do one of two things: they'll send someone to make
a deal...or they'll send someone to make a corpse. Either way you've got something to work with.
Michael: When faced with a superior force, you can do two things: you can retreat quietly or you can attack with as much fanfare
as possible.
Michael: Convincing a bully to back down is usually a matter of showing them you're not afraid of them. Of course, some bullies
have guys with three fifty-seven magnums...then you change tactics.
Michael: Approaching a spy in the middle of a job gives you a lot of leverage. They're playing a delicate game and the last
thing they want is someone coming in and smashing their delicate game with a brick.
Michael: When you go on the run the first thing you do is lay down tracks in the opposite direction, but that only works if
the bad guys find the trail and believe it's for real. Which means selling it. You need to put on a little show, make them
feel clever. When you make somebody work to get a piece of information they’ll believe it that much more because it's
hard to get.
Michael: Faking a surveillance video has come a long way, it use to be slaving over a VHS tape with a razor blade. Now it’s
a few hours and a computer.
Michael: Asking my mom for anything is a lot like getting a favour from a Russian mob boss. He'll give you what you want with
a smile, but believe me, you'll pay for it.
Michael: Basic rule of bodyguarding, never fight with the protectee around, mostly because if they catch a stray bullet, you're
out of the job.
Michael: (voiceover) But in the end, sometimes making an escape is just about being willing to do what the guy chasing you
won't. Like jump off a building.
Michael: (to Sam) Well, I'll tell you what, if there's a situation that requires showing off your upper body and boozy flirting,
you're my guy.
Michael: (thinking) International conferences attract spies for the same reason hotel bars attract hookers. You can do business
and drink for free.
Fiona: Michael would change his identity and disappear to get out of a parking ticket.
Madeline: Your father always wanted you to have something to remember him by.
Michael: Oh, (touches the scar on his temple) I have this to remember him by.
Madeline: I remember what fun you two had always working on cars in the garage.
Michael: Fun? I remember him making me fake a seizure at Mr. Goodwrench so he could steal spark plugs.
Michael: I joined the military at her age. I left home with 50 bucks and a change of clothes.
Michael: You wanna blend in a new city; you'd better be up on local sports.
Michael: The drive home is often a gruelling experience for someone you just rescued. Especially if they were unaware of their
situation. They ask a lot of questions, you fill them in on the answers. And then it dawns on them: the truth. It can be a
little overwhelming.
Michael: Running an operation, you can't let personal feelings get in the way. It’s about planning and execution, not
about being angry... Although occasionally, you may get a little angry...
Michael: Any decent criminal will change his plan at the mention of the word "cops".
Nate: I can protect myself.
Michael: Yea... Blocking punches with your face. Real effective...
Michael: Any good operative is careful not to leave much behind. Everyone gets careless though, and even the littlest things
can turn out to be useful. A receipt, a paperback, room service records. Every bit helps.
Michael: Compulsive gamblers get a lot of practise seeing people bluff. So the good news is that they can usually pick up
on people's tells. The bad news is when they're wrong, the consequences are very expensive.
Michael: Covert ops has its perks. You travel, make your own hours and expense most of your meals. The down side: lots of
people want you dead.
Michael: You lost my car in a card game.
Nate: Well, I needed the money and you weren't helpin' me out. Besides, nothin' ventured, nothin' gained, bro.
Michael: It was a rental car you ventured.
Michael: Now, make a small incision just above the wound.
Nate: You want me to uh, just dig in?
Michael: You're enjoying this way too much.
Michael: Some situations just come down to probabilities. The chance that an assassin can hit you with a handgun at 50 yards,
the number of shots he can get off. You might have a one in five chance of taking a bullet maybe a one in ten chance of dying.
Or a 100 percent chance of getting blown away by a shotgun wired to a door.
Michael: They broke the dishes?
Madeline: No, I did. Mrs Hails is always coming over when I have the TV on too loud. So I figured she would hear the crash.
Michael: A ricochet might not be deadly, but it sure feels that way.
Jan: ...lot of people...want you dead...from old days. now you out...no-one to protect (you?).
Michael: A rescue attempt is hard enough when it's someone who wants to be rescued. It doesn't matter whether it's a brother
with a compulsive gambling problem, or a girl who thinks she's about to launch her modeling career. So you eliminate escape
options, keep a low profile, but no matter what you do you'll still have someone screaming bloody murder in the back of your
car.
Carl Wilhelm: "Pimped"? I'm not a pimp.
Michael: You say "tomato", I say "pimp".
Sam: If I lose my pension, you're gonna be changin' my diapers when I'm ninety-five and drooling.
Michael: Sam, I would never let that happen. I'd smother you with a pillow first.
Fiona: Every third guy at a bar'll tell you he's a modelling scout.
Sam: Hey, I've used worse lines. And succeeded.
Michael: Hey, can I borrow your car?
Sam: Where ya goin'?
Michael: Uh, just to the store to get some new yogurt.
Sam: (chuckles) Come on Mike. Fiona calls, whisper whisper, all of a sudden you gotta have yogurt? What's the big secret?
Michael: No big secret, just loooove yogurt.
Fiona: Do you think I could convince your Czech assassin to switch targets? I mean Sam is bigger, slower... easier to hit.
Michael: There’s a reason why family is a good source of leverage. Whether it’s a brother who always owes people
money or a brother who is stuck in the truck of a car, you can’t turn your back on them.
Michael: Spies go to bars for the same reason people go to libraries: they're full of information if you know how to ask.
Michael: Pimps are all about show high end or low end they like to stand out.
Michael: You can learn good self-defense fighting with students in a class, but great self-defense you pick up fighting with
your family.
Michael: The key to a good knife defence is to control the knife hand and strike with everything you've got. Fighting is often
about tactical retreat - like running away from two knives. It's also about making the body count unacceptable.
Nate Westen: Who gives money back?
Michael: If it looks like you're about to get into a fight that could get you killed, try starting another one.
Rose: Who are you then? Who's that lot down there? [The Doctor ignores her] I said who are they?!
The Doctor: They're made of plastic. Living plastic creatures. They're being controlled by a relay device on the roof. Which
would be a great big problem if-- [he pulls a bleeping bomb out of his coat] --I didn't have this. So I'm gonna go upstairs
and blow it up. And I might well die in the process [sarcastically] but don't worry about me, no. You go home, go on! Go have
your lovely beans on toast. Don't tell anyone about this 'cos if you do, you'll get them killed. [closes the door] [opens
it again] I'm The Doctor, by the way. What's your name?
Rose: Rose.
The Doctor: Nice to meet you, Rose. [holds up the bomb] Run for your life!
The Doctor: If we're gonna find their weakness, we need to know where they're from. So, judging by their body shape, that
narrows it down to about 5000 planets in travelling distance. Now what else do we know? Information!
Rose: They're green.
The Doctor: Yep, narrows it down!
Rose: Good sense of smell.
The Doctor: Narrows it down!
Rose: They can smell adrenaline.
The Doctor: Narrows it down!
Harriet Jones: The pig technology!
The Doctor: Narrows it down!
Rose: The spaceship in the Thames - you said slipstream engine.
The Doctor: Narrows it down!
Rose: They hunt like it's a ritual.
The Doctor: Narrows it down!
Harriet Jones: Wait! Did you notice when they fart, if you'll pardon the word, it doesn't just smell like a fart, if you'll
pardon the word, it's something else, what is it?
Rose: Bad breath!
Harriet Jones: That's it.
The Doctor: Calcium decay! Now THAT narrows it down!
Rose: We're getting there, Mum!
The Doctor: Organic calcium, living calcium! Creatures made out of living calcium! What else? Hyphenated surnames. YES! That
narrows it down to just one planet! Raxacoricofallapatorius!
Mickey Smith: Oh, great, we could write them a letter.
The Doctor: [to Rose] I could save the world but lose you.
The Doctor on red alerts.]
The Doctor: That's just humans. By everyone else's standards, red's camp. Oh, the misunderstandings - all those Red Alerts,
all that dancing.
________________________________________
[The Doctor on mauve alerts.]
Rose: And why are we chasing it?
The Doctor: It's mauve and dangerous! [beat] And about 30 seconds from the centre of London.
________________________________________
The Doctor: Know how long you can knock around space without having to bump into Earth?
Rose: Five days, or is that just when we're out of milk?
The Doctor: All the species in all the universe and it has to come out of a cow.
________________________________________
Rose: How much is a little?
The Doctor: A bit.
Rose: Is that clear, then, a bit?
The Doctor: Ish.
Rose: So what's the plan? You going to do a scan for alien tech or something?
The Doctor: Rose, it hit the middle of London with a very loud bang. I'm going to ask.
________________________________________
Rose: Not very Spock, is it, just asking?
The Doctor: Door, music, people. What do you think?
Rose: I think you should do a scan for alien tech! Give me some Spock -- for once, would it kill you?
The Doctor: [about her Union Flag t-shirt] You sure about that t-shirt?
Rose: Too early to say. I'm taking it out for a spin.
________________________________________
[In a nightclub during the London Blitz.]
The Doctor: Might seem like a stupid question, but has anything fallen from the sky recently?
[The whole room collapses in hysterics.]
________________________________________
The Doctor: [To a stray kitten] One day, just one day, maybe, I'm going to meet somebody who gets the whole "don't wander
off" thing. 900 years of phone box travel and it's the only thing left that surprises me. [The TARDIS phone rings] You're
ringing. How can you be ringing? You're not even a real phone!
________________________________________
[while hanging off a barrage balloon in the middle of an air raid]
Rose: [in reference to her Union Flag t-shirt] Okay, maybe not this t-shirt.
________________________________________
[Jack Harkness to Rose while she is caught in his tractor beam.]
Capt. Jack Harkness: Could you switch off your cell phone? No, seriously, it interferes with my instruments.
Rose: [as she turns it off] You know, no-one ever believes that.
The Doctor: I'm not sure if it's Marxism in action or a West End musical.
________________________________________
The Doctor: And I'm looking for a blonde in a Union Jack. A specific one, mind you, I didn't just wake up this morning with
a craving.
Rose: Okay, you have an invisible spaceship...
Jack: Yeah.
Rose: ...tethered up to Big Ben for some reason.
Jack: First rule of active camouflage: park somewhere you'll remember.
________________________________________
Rose: This isn't business, this is champagne.
Jack: I try never to discuss business with a clear head.
________________________________________
Jack: So this companion of yours, does he handle the business?
Rose: Well, I delegate a lot of that, yeah.
Jack: Then maybe we should go find him.
Rose: And how are you going to do that?
Jack: Easy. I'll do a scan for alien tech.
Rose: [aside] Finally, a professional.
________________________________________
The Doctor: Amazing.
Nancy: What is?
The Doctor: 1941. Right now, not very far from here, the German war machine is rolling up the map of Europe. Country after
country, falling like dominoes. Nothing can stop it, nothing. Until one tiny, damp little island says "No. No, not here."
A mouse in front of a lion. You're amazing, the lot of you. I don't know what you do to Hitler, but you frighten the hell
out of me.
[after Rose introduces the Doctor to Jack as "Mr. Spock"]
The Doctor: Mr. Spock?
Rose: What was I supposed to say? You don't have a name! Don't you ever get tired of "Doctor" -- Doctor who?
The Doctor: Nine centuries in, I'm coping.
________________________________________
Rose: Who's strolling? I went by barrage balloon. Only way to see an air raid.
________________________________________
[Jack complimenting the TARDIS' design.]
Jack: Saw your ship. Love the retro look by the way -- nice panels.
________________________________________
[Captain Jack commenting on the Doctor's leather jacket and Rose's Union Jack top.]
Jack: The way you guys are blending in with the local colour - I mean flag girl is bad enough, but U-Boat captain?
The Doctor: Go to your room. Go to your room! I mean it. I'm very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross! Go to your room!
[The children lurch away.] I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.
________________________________________
The Doctor: Sonic blaster, 51st Century... Weapon factories at Villengard?
Capt. Jack Harkness: Yeah. You've been to the factories?
The Doctor: Once.
Jack: They're gone now, destroyed. Main reactor went critical. Vaporised the lot.
The Doctor: Like I said, once. There's a banana grove there now. I like bananas. Bananas are good.
The Doctor: Go! Now! Don't drop the banana!
Jack: Why not?!
The Doctor: Good source of potassium!
________________________________________
Jack: Nice switch.
The Doctor: Thanks. From the groves at Villengard. Thought it was appropriate.
Jack: There's really a banana grove in the heart of Villengard, and you did that?
The Doctor: Bananas are good.
________________________________________
Jack: Okay, this can function as a sonic blaster, a sonic cannon, and a triple enfolded sonic disruptor. Doc, whatcha' got?
The Doctor: [pulls out the sonic screwdriver] I've got a sonic, uh, oh never mind.
Jack: What?
The Doctor: It's sonic. Okay, let's leave it at that.
Jack: Disruptor? Cannon? What?!
The Doctor: It's sonic. Totally sonic! I'm sonicked up!
Jack: A sonic what?!
The Doctor: SCREWDRIVER!
________________________________________
Jack: [incredulously] Who has a sonic screwdriver?
The Doctor: I do!
Rose: [to herself] Lights!
Jack: Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, "Ooo, this could be a little more sonic"?
The Doctor: What, you've never been bored?
Rose: There's gotta' be a light switch!
Doctor: [to Jack] Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?
________________________________________
[Finding that his sonic blaster's battery has been drained]
Captain Jack: It's these special features, they really drain the battery.
Rose Tyler: That is so lame.
Jack: I was gonna send for another one [to the Doctor, annoyed] but somebody's gotta blow up the factory!
Rose: I know, first day I met him he blew my job up, that's practically how he communicates.
The Doctor: Okay. That door should hold it for a bit.
Jack: The door? The wall didn't stop it!
The Doctor: Well, it's got to find us first. C'mon, we're not done yet. Assets! Assets!
Jack: [sarcastically] Well, I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves--
The Doctor: Window!
Jack: Barred, sheer drop outside, seven stories.
Rose: No other exits.
Jack: Well, the assets conversation went in a flash, didn't it? [chuckles]
The Doctor: [to Rose] So, where'd you pick this one up?
Rose: Doctor!
Jack: She was hanging from a barrage balloon and I had an invisible spaceship. I never stood a chance.
________________________________________
The Doctor: Okay. One, we've gotta get out of here. Two, we can't get out of here. Have I missed anything?
________________________________________
Rose: Okay, so he's vanished into thin air. Why's it always the great-looking ones who do that?
The Doctor: I'm making an effort not to be insulted.
Rose: I mean... men.
The Doctor: Okay. Thanks. That really helped.
________________________________________
[about Jack]
Rose: Why don't you trust him?
The Doctor: Why do you?
Rose: Saved my life. Bloke-wise, that's up there with flossing. [beat] I trust him 'cause he's like you...except with dating
and dancing. [He gives her a look.] What?
The Doctor: You just assume I'm...
Rose: What?
The Doctor: You just assume I don't... 'dance'.
Rose: [Amused] What, are you telling me you do... 'dance'?
The Doctor: Been around 900 years, me. I think you can assume at some point I've danced.
Rose: You?
The Doctor: Problem?
Rose: Doesn't the universe implode or something if you 'dance'?
The Doctor: Well, I've got the moves, but I wouldn't like to boast.
[Rose turns up the radio.]
Rose: You got the moves? Show me your moves.
The Doctor: [Unnerved] Rose, I'm... trying to resonate concrete.
Rose: Jack'll be back, he'll get us out. So come on. The world doesn't end 'cause the Doctor dances.
________________________________________
The Doctor: [To Rose] I've travelled with a lot of people, but you're setting new records for jeopardy friendly.
________________________________________
The Doctor: Hanging from a rope, thousands of feet above London, not a cut, not a bruise.
Rose: Yeah, I know. Captain Jack fixed me up.
The Doctor: Oh, we're calling him Captain Jack now, are we?
Rose: Well, his name's Jack and he's a captain.
The Doctor: He's not really a captain, Rose.
Rose: Do you know what I think? I think you're experiencing 'Captain Envy'. You'll find your feet at the end of your legs,
you may care to move them.
The Doctor: If he was ever a captain, he's been defrocked.
Rose: Yeah? Shame I missed that.
[Jack transports them into his ship, however they fail to notice this]
Jack: Actually, I quit. Nobody takes my frock. Most people notice when they've been teleported. You guys are so sweet.
________________________________________
Jack: Make yourself comfortable. Carry on with whatever you were... doing.
The Doctor: We were... talking about dancing.
Jack: Didn't look like talking.
Rose: Didn't feel like dancing.
________________________________________
Rose: Are the words "distract the guard" heading in my general direction?
Jack: I don't think that's such a good idea.
Rose: Don't worry, I can handle it.
Jack: I've gotten to know Algie quite well since I've been in town. Trust me, you're not his type. I'll distract him. Don't
wait up.
[Jack moves off. Rose stares after him, poleaxed, whilst the Doctor grins smugly]
The Doctor: Don't worry, he's a 51st-century guy. He's just a little more flexible when it comes to 'dancing'.
Rose: How flexible?
The Doctor: Well, by his time, you lot are spread over half the galaxy.
Rose: Meaning?
The Doctor: So many species, so little time.
Rose: What, that's what we do when we get out there? That's our mission? We seek new life and...
The Doctor: Dance.
The Doctor: Everybody lives, Rose! Just this once! Everybody lives!!
The Doctor: History says there was an explosion here. Who am I to argue with history?
Rose: Usually the first in line.
________________________________________
Rose: Look at you, beaming away like you're Father Christmas.
The Doctor: Who says I'm not? Red bicycle when you were 12.
Rose: What?
The Doctor: And everybody lives! I need more days like this.
________________________________________
[Jack brings an active bomb into his ship to save London]
Jack: Okay, computer, how long can we keep the bomb in stasis?
Ship's Computer: Stasis decaying at 90% cycle. Detonation in three minutes.
Jack: Can we jettison it?
Ship's Computer: Any attempt to jettison the device will precipitate detonation, 100% probability.
Jack: We could stick it in an escape pod.
Ship's Computer: There is no escape pod on board.
Jack: Okay, I see the flaw it that. I'll get in the escape pod.
Ship's Computer: There is no escape pod on board.
Jack: Did you check everywhere?
Ship's Computer: Affirmative.
Jack: [desperately] Under the sink!
Ship's Computer: Affirmative.
Jack: Okay, out of 100, exactly how dead am I?
Ship's Computer: Termination of Captain Jack Harkness in under two minutes, 100% probability.
Jack: Lovely. Thanks. Good to know the numbers.
Ship's Computer: You're welcome.
________________________________________
Jack: [monologuing to his navigating system] Last time I was sentenced to death, I ordered four hyper-vodkas for my breakfast.
All a bit of a blur after that. Woke up in bed with both my executioners. Lovely couple. They stayed in touch. Can't say that
about most executioners.
________________________________________
The Doctor: Close the door will you? Your ship's about to blow up; there's gonna be a draft.
________________________________________
Jack: Much bigger on the inside.
The Doctor: You'd better be.
________________________________________
The Doctor: Rose! I've just remembered!
Rose: What?
The Doctor: I can dance! I can dance!
Rose: Actually, Doctor, I thought Jack might like this dance.
The Doctor: I'm sure he would, Rose. I'm absolutely certain. But who with?
[The Doctor and Rose dance]
Mickey: [to Rose, in reference to Jack and the Doctor, respectively] So what are you doing in Cardiff, and who the hell's
Jumpin' Jack Flash? I mean, I don't mind you hanging out with Big Ears up here--
The Doctor: Oi!
Mickey: [to the Doctor] Look in a mirror. [continues] But this guy, I dunno, he's kinda...
Captain Jack Harkness: [grins]... Handsome?
Mickey: More like cheesy.
Jack: Early 21st century slang, is "cheesy" bad or good?
Mickey: It's bad.
Jack: But bad means good, isn't that right?
________________________________________
Rose: The thing is, Cardiff's got this rift running through the middle of the city, it's invisible, but it's like an earthquake
fault between different dimensions.
The Doctor: The rift was healed back in 1869...
Rose: Thanks to a girl named Gwyneth, 'cos these creatures called the Gelth were using the rift as a gateway, but she saved
the world and closed it.
Jack But closing a rift always leaves a scar and that scar generates energy, harmless to the human race...
The Doctor: ...But perfect for the TARDIS, just park it here for a couple of days right on top of the scar and...
Jack: ...Open up the engines, soak up the radiation...
Rose: ...Like filling her up with petrol, and off we go...
Jack: ...into time...
Rose, Jack, the Doctor: ...AND SPACE!
[The three exchange high-fives]
Mickey : My God, have you seen yourselves? You all think you're so clever, don't you?
The Doctor: Yep.
Rose: Yeah.
Jack: Yep. [Slaps Mickey on the back]
[the four have just exited the TARDIS]
Mickey: That old lady's staring.
Jack : [Suggestively to Doctor] Probably wondering what four people were doing in a small box.
Mickey: [Disdainful look at Jack] What are you captain of, the Innuendo Squad?
________________________________________
[Discussing the plan]
Jack: [fast] Right, then. According to Intelligence, our target is the last surviving member of the Slitheen family - a criminal
sect from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius - masquerading as a human being, zipped inside a skin-suit. Okay, plan of attack:
we assume a basic 57/56 strategy, covering all available exits on the ground floor. Doctor, you go face to face, that'll designate
exit one; I'll cover exit two; Rose, you exit three; Mickey Smith, you take exit four. Have you got that?
The Doctor: Excuse me, who's in charge?
Jack: Sorry. Awaiting orders, sir.
The Doctor: Right, here's the plan. [beat] Like he said, nice plan. Anything else?
________________________________________
The Doctor: Hello, I've come to see the Lord Mayor.
Secretary: Have you got an appointment?
The Doctor: No, just an old friend passing by, bit of a surprise. Can't wait to see her face!
Secretary: Well, she's just having a cup of tea.
The Doctor: Just go in there and tell her "the Doctor" would like to see her.
Secretary: "The Doctor" who?
The Doctor: Just "the Doctor", tell her exactly that, "the Doctor".
Secretary: Hang on a tic.
[The secretary goes inside. There is the sound of a cup dropping and the secretary returns.]
Secretary: The Lord Mayor says "thank you f-for popping by." She'd love to have a chat, but, um, she's up to her eyes in paperwork.
Perhaps you would like to make an appointment for next week...
The Doctor: [happily] She's climbing out the window, isn't she?
Secretary: Yes, she is.
________________________________________
Jack: She's got a teleport! That's cheating! Now we'll never get her!
Rose: Oh, the Doctor's very good at teleports.
[Doctor uses sonic-screwdriver to bring Margaret back three times, each time closer than she was before.]
The Doctor: I could do this all day.
Margaret Slitheen: [out of breath] This is persecution. Why can't you leave me alone? What did I ever do to you?
The Doctor: You tried to kill me and destroy this entire planet.
Margaret Slitheen: Apart from that.
________________________________________
Margaret Slitheen: We're in Cardiff. London doesn't care, the southwest coast could fall into the sea and they wouldn't notice...Oh.
I sound like a Welshman. God help me, I've gone native.
________________________________________
Jack: Is that a tribophysical wave-form macrokinetic extrapolator?!
The Doctor: I couldn't have put it better myself.
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